Mom's Home, Moving Blogs!

After a grueling six weeks of treatment, my mom is back home! No more running back and forth to Duluth. While the hard part might be over, that doesn't mean things are easy. She's still really sick, though she should start to recover soon. Cancer is horrible, but the treatment for it is just as bad. I've been going to the house every day to do some chores so she has less to worry about. Cleaning that place is a never ending battle, but if I don't do it, it won't get done. 

My own personal to-do list is still a mile long, but I'm making progress. It's my goal to get my snake website up *tonight.* Then the rest of the week I'll be working on the dragon costume. I have to do some major surgery to the mask to get the jaw in alignment before I can continue on the head. 

As I mentioned in my last journal post, I will be writing my book as part of NaNoWriMo in November. Technically I'm a "rebel" because it's a memoir, not a novel, but it still counts. September is dedicated to finishing this dragon, and October will be dedicated to past 2D art commissions. Plan in place!

On a final note, I've decided it's time to leave this blog behind and transfer over to my new website - Aurora's Woods. It will be better organized with categories, and I'm excited to take things in a more professional direction. :)

Thanks for reading!

Life - It's Happening! (photos)

I'm living in a blurry world, folks. When I'm not busy I'm busy, and with so much going on it has been difficult to keep on top of certain things - mostly my dishes, laundry, grocery shopping, art, and this blog. I've literally had "write a schedule" on my to-do list for about a month. I started it tonight. "Update blog" has been on it for a while, too, so here I am. Time to start crossing things off. :)

I still love my job, and I'm sliding into a pretty good rhythm there. I've learned I'm far better at multitasking than I ever gave myself credit for, but there are a few things I still need to get better at, like keeping track of who's gone where and when they'll be back. I really like having a variety of things to do because it means there's always work to be done. I totally understand why Jordan was so annoyed by all the down time he had at his last job. For me there's always a project on deck!

My mom has one more week left of radiation and chemo, and maybe a couple single appointments before getting a break from it all for a while. There has been a lot of running back and forth to Duluth by myself, my dad, my sister, and friends. I think the time away has been really good for my mom. It forced her to get out there and be social, and she's made some new friends through it. She's also doing far better than the doctors originally predicted. They said after the first two weeks she "won't feel like shopping anymore," but here it is the end of week five and we went to Shopko and ate at BlackWoods before driving home up the shore. She's amazing.

The woods is my gym, and I've been hiking and enjoying the great outdoors when I can. Still working on fixing my diet and adding more exercise into my day. Health has to be a priority, though I banged up my knee pretty badly on a rock while swimming and I probably needed stitches, but it was Sunday and I didn't want to go to the ER. So far it doesn't seem to be infected but I'm keeping an eye on it. Don't be stupid in the woods, kids. You might have to drive home with a sock tied around your knee with string from your hooded sweatshirt (which reminds me, I really need to get a little first aid kit for the car - smart idea, Kristi!).

I've been working on getting a website for my snakes up and running. I've got a little more content to write and then it'll be good to go. I want to get that done ASAP so I can get a few more snakes sold before winter makes shipping more difficult. Selling locally is my last resort.

Next project on the list is a dragon costume. I'm excited to bring this character to life! I was going to try to get it done by the end of the month, but it will probably take me a couple weeks. 

I'm going to do the NaNoWriMo challenge this year and get my book written during the month of November. Each day I will have a certain number of pages that have to be done, and I will do them. With any luck I'll have it all edited and ready by January and then I can get back to the art side of things. One creative focus at a time is how these things are going to get done!

Thanks for reading! 

Another brief hiatus...

I'm dealing with a lot of things going on in my personal life right now. I'll be back with new content and updates soon. For now I have to concentrate on my job and my family. Thank you all for reading!

Do I miss California? Only a little bit...

In my notes for the book I'm writing I have a list of all the pros and cons I've experienced living in SoCal as well as up here in Minnesota. Over the next few days I'm going to share some of them here.

Many people move to California in pursuit of big dreams and end up staying long after their initial enthusiasm dies, simply because it's incredibly difficult to leave. You become complacent and adapt, and the rest of the world starts to feel like another planet entirely. SoCal is it's own little world - a dirty rat race where people pretend they're important but are actually hollow inside, just going through the motions. Beautiful zombies walk the streets in high heels and tailored suits, while the mentally ill sleep on park benches and hold signs hoping for handouts. Ignorance is bliss.

California is a huge state, and my experiences involve such a small part of the big picture. I never spent a night on a gritty south L.A. street where crime is common and store windows have steel bars. I never spent a night in an extravagant penthouse overlooking the ocean, either. I lived somewhere in the middle, but I made many observations.

I've lived in California for four years, total. Two were spent in a big house in the hills of Encino, and two were spent in a small apartment in downtown Burbank, with a few years back home in Minnesota separating them. Each California experience was very different, but I'm grateful for them both. 

The list of things I miss about Southern California is pretty short, but there were definitely perks. 

1. The food is incredible. You can find flavors from around the world on the street outside our front door, and the produce selection is beyond anything I've seen elsewhere thanks to the long (non-stop?) growing season. Looking back I wish I had planted more food plants on our balcony.

2. A distinct lack of flying, biting bugs. In the winter a few mosquitoes might sneak in, but they're few and far between. 

3. Museums and educational places. Griffith Observatory, the Getty, the La Brea Tar Pits, the Natural History Museum - so many interesting things to see!

4. Very cool national parks, namely Joshua Tree and Sequoia/Kings's Canyon, and all the different wildlife. 

5. Our apartment's balcony. While living in the city sucked in many ways, our balcony was my happy place. I could sit outside and watch birds fly around the trees or watch people walking on the sidewalk. Some of my favorite times were spent hanging out on the balcony with Jordan, just chatting and enjoying each other's company.

I think that pretty much sums it up. I don't think California is terrible, but it pales in comparison to the north woods. More coming soon!

Live to Fish, Fish to Live

Life is stressful.

There are a huge number of ways to relieve stress. Doctors recommend exercise, yoga, meditation, and even masturbation. Stress relief is important for our overall health. You have to find your happy place.

My happy place involves holding a stiff rod in my hand and waiting for a little action. 

I love innuendo.

It was my dad who taught me how to fish and ignited this lifelong passion. He took me fishing a lot growing up. We used to have a nice boat with a live well and I have many fond memories of trolling and still fishing on Devil Track, Trout, Cascade, Flour and Two Island lakes. I never wanted to leave the lake even as it was getting dark. I always thought there might be one more fish lurking around the bend. Maybe if I moved my rod a certain way, I could entice a big one to grab my lure. 

Catching fish is only part of it, though. I don't have to catch anything to enjoy fishing. The act of casting, patiently waiting, reeling, and casting again has a rhythm, a heartbeat. I feel a primal connection to nature similar to the one I feel while hunting. At the heart of it, fishing is hunting. My goal is to catch fish and put a meal on the table, but going hours without a nibble is certainly not a waste of time. There is much to enjoy and appreciate.

This entry was inspired by tonight's fishing trip. I left home around 6:30 and headed to Cascade River hoping to catch a few nice brook trout. If you've never had brook trout, you're missing out on what might be the most delicious fish there is (walleye is a close second).

The river was beautiful, as always.

I wore my Vibram Five-Fingers (toe shoes) because they work great in the water. I waded into the river and was surprised at how warm it was in some places and cooler in others. I put a worm on a basic bait-holder hook and started fishing. If I stood still, minnows would nibble at my legs and shoes. I tossed them a worm from the container in my pocket and watched them swarm and attack it like tiny, adorable piranhas. 

I caught two big chubs that I threw back, but no tasty brook trout. After losing worm after worm to the hungry fish and getting annoyed by the deer flies buzzing around my head, I decided it was time to move on to my next destination just down the road - Devil Track Lake. 

As I waded back to shore I looked around the rocks and weeds for my old friend - a mink frog I see literally every time I fish here. Sure enough, there he was!

Okay, so it's probably not the same frog every time. Still, it's always fun to see them there. Mink frogs are so named because they give off an odor when rubbed that apparently smells like mink. I've never actually rubbed or smelled one. 

I changed out of my wet toe shoes and into my sneakers and drove to Devil Track. There's an old seaplane dock at the public boat landing that juts out into the lake and it's the perfect spot to night fish. The sun was already behind the trees so I got my camp chair set up quickly and slapped a leech on a beaver flick (that's a fishing lure) and tossed my bobber into the lake. Only a minute passed before I had a bite. After a good fight, I pulled in a big smallmouth bass around the same size as one I caught in the same place a few nights ago. I was hoping for walleyes, but a big smallmouth has enough meat on it to be worth filleting. I put it on my grandpa's old stringer and tied it to the dock. I caught a second one not long after. 

Several people brought their boats in from the lake and a small party joined me in my shore fishing pursuits, though they left empty handed. I watched a beaver swim by and listened to a loon calling from across the lake. I can understand why early settlers thought they were hearing ghosts when they first heard the loons. 

My lighted bobber's light went kaput, and as the stars started twinkling into view I could no longer see it. It was time to head home.

I didn't see any other notable wildlife on this trip, but the other day when I made the drive down the Devil Track Lake Road I saw a young snowshoe hare, a red fox, and a whitetail deer. 

Fishing is so much more than fishing. It's living. 

The good, the bad, and the plan

The good:

- Grand Marais is wonderful and it feels so good to be back.
- My new job is going well and I enjoy it.
- I'm finally starting to feel creative again after a long slump.
- Fishing! Hiking! Nature! Friends!
- I'm exercising more and feeling good.
- My mom is keeping a positive attitude, despite all that's going on.

The bad:

- Mom is away M-F in Duluth for radiation and chemo treatments. She may get very, very sick.
- Jordan was recently diagnosed with diabetes and hypertension.
- Jordan is still stuck in California and fighting the system to get health insurance and pay rent after being laid off. 

The plan:

- Help my folks with cooking and general housekeeping while Mom is in Duluth.
- Be there for Jordan, help as much as I can from afar.
- Sell things, work hard, make money.
- Start creating things again; most importantly this blog, my book, and my commission backlog.
- Get healthy.
- Enjoy summer in northern Minnesota as much as possible!

Writing every day

I've been busy in a way I haven't known since I moved to California, but it feels good. It's especially nice to have a job that has a specific start and end time. Now I just need to focus on my other priorities, like writing this book and doing a lot of art. As part of that effort, I'm going to be writing a blog post every day from here on out with life updates and whatever else I feel like writing about. It's exercise for my brain, and my fingers.

For now I will be updating this blog, but I will soon be moving to my new website http://www.auroraswoods.com and blogging there. I'm going to get it updated this weekend and get some new content written for a separate website just for my boa constrictor hobby.

More general updates to come over the next few days. Time to make up for this month of silence! Lots going on, lots to do, lots to write about. :)

Hiatus!

Hey folks!

I'm disappearing while I make this mini move happen. Lots to pack, lots to do. My big Sequoia and King's Canyon post will have to wait until I have time to do it justice. The next update will hail from Minnesota. Thanks for your support!

Back to the north woods!

The Adventure Continues!

So much is happening right now that it's difficult to keep everything straight. My world is a blur, emotions are running high, and I have no idea what the future is going to bring (and that's scary). I'm reminding myself to take things one day at a time, one thing at a time, and everything will get taken care of. Big things are happening, both good and bad!

First, the good.

Last weekend Jordan and I camped high up in the Sierra mountains in King's Canyon National Park, where he proposed!

I said yes!

Our hands are resting on the soft bark of a giant sequoia tree in one of the most beautiful places we've ever been to. I'm working on a big blog post detailing the trip and should have that up this weekend, but my first priority is getting my last week of writing work complete. Then I have a lot of packing to do. I will be shipping my snakes on Monday and flying back to Grand Marais on Tuesday! So much to do!

Now, the bad.

Last week Jordan was laid off from work. Today he found out exactly what our options are concerning our apartment. It would cost roughly $5,000 to break the lease right now, even though his unemployment alone isn't enough to live on until February when our lease is up (our original moving date). Thanks to a severance and my own savings we're okay right now, but it's going to get difficult quickly. We're trying to find someone to sublease, but the rent is high and the apartment isn't in the greatest shape. The complex would likely replace the carpet, repaint the walls and shower, and replace the toilet before renting it. We're not counting on this option, which means Jordan will likely have to stay in CA until February.

The other options suck, though. Jordan could get a full time job and quit in 6 months to move to MN (which is both rude to the company and looks horrible on a resume), or he could get a part time job that has 75% of the wages removed as part of the unemployment terms. The situation sucks all around and we're not quite sure what direction to turn from here.

I know we can get through this, and we'll be stronger for it when we look back on it later.

Still, this move is proving to be more difficult in ways I never saw coming. That's life, eh?

One Creative Thing at a Time

When I first attempted to do art as primary income, I failed. The second time I attempted to do art as primary income, I failed. Third time's a charm, right? It will be a while before I attempt again.

It took failing twice to show me how much I need to learn about the wide world of business. I basically tried to start a business without any business background or knowledge whatsoever. I was doomed to failure before I picked up my pencil and sketched my first commission.

I have a sizable backlog of owed artwork to complete, both from the Indiegogo campaign and previous work I've taken on since living in California (and promised gifts from long ago...). The art I owe ranges from simple digital sketches to complex real media paintings, as well as a couple animal costumes. I cannot take on new art commissions until I no longer have any art in my queue. I'm changing my focus and I have a ton of great personal projects I hope to pursue, but that can't happen until everything owed has been delivered.

I'm slowly learning how to run and manage a business, and I have my writing job to thank for that. Many of the blogs I write for are directed toward business professionals and I come across a lot of tips about marketing, selling, and building a brand. I've also been observing successful entrepreneurs doing the things I'd like to be doing someday, and figuring out what they've been doing that I haven't. It's been an eye-opening experience and I've learned a lot, and I'm sure I still have much to learn.

I've realized that my biggest downfall has been my tendency to take on too much and involve myself in multiple creative projects at the same time without a clear plan. The only way I can get through my backlog and continue doing art in the future is if I tackle one type of creative endeavor at a time, from start to finish, before moving on to the next. This has never been more clear to me.

Unfortunately, writing is a particular "creative project" and I've found that since I started this wonderful job that pays my bills, my ability to do art of any kind has nearly vanished. It's incredibly frustrating. I have mixed feelings about leaving this writing job in California when I move at the end of the month, but I'm looking forward to having a "normal" job that I actually leave the house for. It will help to have a set beginning and end to my work day, which is something I struggle to make for myself.

I was planning on having my entire art backlog (minus Indiegogo stuff) finished before moving, but it simply hasn't been possible. I haven't finished a drawing since January. I need a solid plan. I have to pick a creative focus and complete everything in that focus before moving to the next. I know this is the key to speeding up my progress.

Rather than continue beating my head against the wall over the next two weeks wondering why I can't get art done, I'm putting it on hold. Right now I need to focus on getting my writing done for work, getting my book started, and selling things before the move. These things must be done, and I thank my patrons for their continued patience.

After the move I will prioritize costumes, then old commissions, then Indiegogo work. One thing at a time. It will all be done in time.

Do it Now vs. Do it Later

I'm a big time procrastinator, and I have been all my life. Changing a habit that has been with you since you learned how to make habits is incredibly difficult, but I'm making progress.

I'm a procrastinator because I know I can get away with it. I've done it a million times before. I know myself and my capabilities well, and if I do happen to leave too much to the end and I don't succeed, I'm exceptionally good at taking the hit, moving on, and not learning a damn thing.

I realized early on that there's no way to change this behavior in one day or even one week. However, I know that making little changes in my routine (and thought process) can become big changes over time.

Procrastination is best friends with stress, anxiety, and ADD. They all hang out together, but I think procrastination is the leader. If I can get get that under control, the rest will become much more manageable.

Procrastinators are "do it later" people. It's laziness and irresponsibility, really; I'm not going to sugar coat it. Something needs to be done, but you ignore it because you know you can do it later, so you use your time to do something less important (usually some kind of distraction you have to justify). Eventually the original thing bothers you enough to where you can't put it off anymore, or you've pushed it as far as you can to your deadline. Then you do everything really quick and feel fatigued and not particularly accomplished because you now have more work ahead of you.

I do this all the time, with everything. The biggest problem with this is that the time spent between deciding to do it later and actually doing it sorta gets wasted. If I happen to choose that as leisure time, I can't really relax because I know I have other things I should be doing. Relaxing never actually happens. All those things I add to my "do it later" list pile up, and then I feel overwhelmed and anxious and unsure if I can get everything done. On top of that, I have trouble sorting my priorities. Often what gets put off are the things that should be done first.

Life skills, man. I'm always late to the party. 

I've started making some little changes that are beginning to add up, and I can already see how they're affecting both my mental state and productivity in a positive way. I figured I'd share them here since they've been helpful, and maybe they can help someone else too. 

1. I started making the bed every day. Doing this simple task does so much. Also my definition of "make" is loose - our bed is against a wall and we don't really use a comforter, so basically I just fix the sheet so it looks nice. Still, it has a huge effect on how I feel and I'm more productive when I do it early in the day.

2. I organized my stuff. I don't like clutter, and when my space is cluttered I have more trouble focusing and I'm distracted easily. I live life by "everything has a place, and everything in its place" when possible. Over the course of a few days, I cleaned and organized my art stuff, jewelry, and desk area and it has helped SO MUCH. 

3. I just flat out decided to stop being a "do it later" person. If I notice something needs to be done, I don't make a mental note about it and file it away (and forget it) like I used to. I just do it. That goes for dishes, general apartment upkeep, replacing paper towel and toilet paper, etc. I figure they can't make my to-do list larger if they never get added to it in the first place!

I'm still working on applying #3 to catching up on my writing, but I've made more progress in the last week than I have in a month. I need a clean slate - it's time to focus!

Life Happened + I'm Moving to MN!

It has been a month and a half since I last wrote. Oops! Sorry about the unexpected hiatus. I even said on my last post I was going to write more here. Then life happened. You all deserve to know what I've been up to, so this is a journal update highlighting what's been going on.

I'll start with the big news - I'm officially moving back to Minnesota at the end of the month (June 30th), and thanks to my wonderful cousin I have both a job and a place to live waiting for me on my return!

Home!

I'll be moving into the small rental house she's been living in (yay tiny house living!), which as it turns out is owned by other distant relatives of mine! I'll also be taking over her job at a realty office that sounds like something I'd be good at. On top of all that, she offered me art studio space at her house in exchange for helping out with animal chores. I'm so excited to finally get some hands-on homesteading experience! I'm looking forward to these big changes. The next chapter in my life is opening up!

I was able to purchase a plane ticket using money raised from the Indiegogo, and the rest will go toward my first month's rent and shipping and travel expenses. I will be sending an email to my Indiegogo contributors with updates soon too, including a link to this blog post.

My mom has been struggling with illness and fever, but hanging in there. She's looking forward to being done with chemo soon. Then she gets a break before radiation begins. She's one tough cookie! I'm eager to spend time with her and my dad (and my other friends and family) back home soon.

Of course I have a lot of mixed feelings about the move. It's going to be difficult leaving Jordan here while I go back to the place we both want to be, but it's more than that. I've grown really comfortable here. It has been hard to get by sometimes, but we've been making it work and enjoying some good times too. I'm really appreciating what's here now that I'm leaving it behind.

It is a nice area, really.

Jordan and I had an unexpected house guest for a week at the end of May. An old friend of Jordan's was down on his luck, and we let him take over our living room for a week while he looked for a room to rent. It was tough just because our place is small and I didn't like the lack of privacy (and I'm a private, anxious person to begin with), but I'm glad things worked out.

Also I'm sad to say our oldest rat Raven had to be put to sleep. Her brain tumor progressed to the point where she was unable to eat or drink. We euthanized her here at home where she passed peacefully.

RIP Raven, you were a sweet rat

Just like her sister Sassy before her, we entombed her in a pot below an herb plant. This time we chose mint. I'll have photos in a garden update soon!

I'm still not to the point where I feel comfortable with my money situation, so I'm working hard this month to sell some things. I really need to downsize the number of snakes I'm bringing home so I've been busy tending ads and taking pictures. I'm working on selling a variety of other things as well, including books and old artwork. 

I've been really busy with my writing job, which will sadly come to an end before I move. I love it, but it's for the best. I've been behind on the work for a long time and I've found it's nearly impossible to catch up, but I have to. I'm looking forward to going back to a job that has set hours and a schedule to stick to, and also doesn't rely on me to handle the tax stuff because ugh, what a pain. It is definitely not easy to be self-employed, and I don't think that's best for me right now. Not until I get my shit together. :)

I've also been getting a lot of general apartment organization and upkeep stuff done and making packing a priority, and Jordan has been helping cook and clean which is always wonderful. I've said it before, but we really do make an amazing team.

I'm really looking forward to the weekend of June 19th, as that's when Jordan and I are heading to Sequoia and King's Canyon National Park to camp. It's an amazing place and I've been excited to go back for years! Those big trees call to me. 

I know I said it in my last blog post, but I am definitely going to be updating here more often. Perhaps sometimes even daily. I'm starting to work more on my book, and there are some things I want to blog about before I move that will probably make their way into the pages.

This is going to be the busiest month ever. I'm not ready, but it's happening!

It's over! Thank you all! The adventure continues...

My Indiegogo campaign ended yesterday at 66%! That's over $1600 raised! I'm grateful and humbled beyond words. I feel blessed to know such awesome people!

The end of my campaign coincided with my mom's doctor appointments showing her cancer has shrunk, and she will be able to begin radiation therapy soon! Happy day! 

That takes away much of the pressure to get home immediately, though I still think moving back north this summer is a good idea. I have a little more time to plan it well and raise some more funds in any case. I will have a lot of stuff for sale soon!

My plan right now is to find a place to live and try to get a job waiting for me in Grand Marais. I really enjoyed housekeeping and am considering doing that again alongside my current writing position.

My next order of business is taking care of my current backlog of art (both 2D and costumes) and start working on my book! I have a lot of short essays and tidbits written down, but I haven't put any solid chapters together yet. I'm still working on organizing the layout and deciding what to include. I'm excited about the whole process!

Once the book and my art backlog are complete (aiming for August), I will be tackling the art perks from the campaign. I should be able to get everything done by December.

I'm also planning on updating this blog a lot more often. Thanks for following along!

The final push

This is the final week of my Indiegogo campaign, and I'm excited to report that as of writing this I've made just over 50% of my goal! I think that's really amazing and "thank you" just doesn't seem to cut it anymore. I'm truly grateful for all your donations and help in spreading the word. 

http://tinyurl.com/backtothenorthwoods

I don't think I'll reach my goal, but that's okay. Any amount will help. As soon as the funds arrive I will be sending at least $200 home to my folks right away.

The end of my campaign this Friday coincides with the day my mom gets tested to see if her cancer has shrunk enough to receive radiation. I sure hope so.

Your donations will allow me to fly home, ship my things and cover initial expenses. Things are going to be difficult for a while, but I will be where I need to be, and we'll make it work. 

If you know anyone who might be interested in custom animal artwork or can simply offer a helping hand, please pass them the link to my campaign. It's a small gesture that means so much to me.

Thank you all so much!

Struggle

I feel like I'm constantly swimming against the rapids, but I'm not a fish so I'm flailing a lot. Sometimes I get sucked under, sometimes I find a rock to cling to for a while and I feel like I'm going to be okay, and sometimes I almost make it to shore before being swept away again.

I'm not on shore yet. I'm still clinging to a rock, but it's a chance to catch my breath.

The help you've offered me in regard to my Indiegogo campaign has been amazing. Thank you so much! There's less than a week left, and I'm hopeful I'll make at least 50% of my goal. I probably won't be able to afford a car, but it will certainly help me move and help my folks, even if I can get back just to cook meals, clean, and offer moral support. http://tinyurl.com/backtothenorthwoods

My mom is hanging in there and doing the best she can. I haven't been able to talk to her on the phone as much as I'd like because she lost her voice from the chemo. It's so hard being away when she's having a difficult time. I'm torn as to whether or not to send money home now or save it for the move.

I'm still struggling a little, especially with letting my writing work pile up. I'm feeling better overall and it's not quite as overwhelming as it was, but my bad habits are bothering me. Next week I'm going to erase the etch-a-sketch and really buckle down. I can't let this keep happening or I won't accomplish anything else I need to do. Once my Indiegogo has ended it will be easier to focus on other things. 

I also recently discovered my snakes have mites. I caught them early (thankfully), but they're a huge pain in the ass to get rid of. I said a lot of expletives before ordering two different non-toxic mite killers. I have to clean and change out bedding in every cage and soak/treat each snake as well as thoroughly clean everything around the cage areas two or three times over the next month. The last time I dealt with snake mites I had one snake. Counting babies, I currently have 18.

I finally got myself to the doctor, got back on Celexa, and got blood work done. I found out I'm completely healthy, which was a huge relief. Even my blood pressure is back to normal. Not only that, some of my other minor medical issues have resolved on their own. Maybe it was stress? Did I physically worry myself sick? Totally possible.

Things haven't been all bad here, just stressful. I've got some interesting things coming up that at least serve as distractions from the depressing stuff. Jordan and I are trying to do some fun, cheap things around L.A. the next couple months while we can.

Monday we're going to a Squarepusher concert which should be interesting, and seeing as he's one of Jordan's favorite artists and he does very few shows, we "splurged" for it (it wasn't that expensive).

Then I happened to I check my Groupon email and was thrilled to see Avenue Q showing soon and super cheap, so I had to snag tickets for that. I've wanted to see the show for YEARS and this was likely my last and only opportunity. That's coming up on the 18th.

Last weekend Jordan and I visited the awesome historic Mt. Wilson observatory, and that was amazing. So much history there, and the drive and view were simply breathtaking. I'll have to do a blog post about it.

The last big thing we're planning before I move back is going to be a camping trip to Sequoia. So looking forward to that! It's an amazing place.

So there you have it. I'm hanging onto this rock as tightly as I can until the current slows. Someday I'll make it to shore, just to be tossed back in again. But that's life, eh?

Life

Spring is a season of renewal, and while the environmental changes aren't as big here as I'm used to up north, I'm trying to appreciate the subtlety. I thought this would be a good time for a "garden" update!

I had originally planned to plant more, but since I'm moving back to MN this summer (thanks to your help at my Indiegogo campaign!) I'm keeping it simple. Jordan will have to take over when I leave.

The strawberries and rosemary I planted back in December are doing well. You may recall I initially had some trouble with the strawberries.

Freshly planted

A few weeks later

I picked off all the browning leaves and checked on them frequently. I also brought them inside on the rare night the outdoor temperature dropped below 40. They were pretty small with all their big leaves gone, and I thought maybe they were suffering from a nutrient deficiency. Either that, or they were just shedding old leaves for winter. I'm leaning toward the latter. Having never grown anything in this climate before, I didn't know what to expect.

Today

I still get a dead leaf here and there, but for the most part they're doing great! I've been pinching the flowers off the little one (it's so painful!) so it can recover a bit more, but I'm letting the big one produce. It gave me one weird looking berry with a brown spot a few weeks ago, and I thought maybe it was because it was touching the dirt. I put down a layer of aspen shavings and that seems to be working well!

Tiny but tasty!

I should have clipped the flowers on the large plant too, but I was impatient. It has a few larger berries growing now, though I know it would help the roots establish better if it didn't have to focus on producing fruit. I'm a harsh mistress.

Our Sassy rosemary plant is doing well too. I didn't realize how much it had grown until I looked at this old picture!

Freshly planted

Today

Huge! The plant hasn't been entirely problem-free though. I had an issue with white mildew a couple months ago, likely due to over-watering. I took the plant inside and physically washed each affected leaf to get rid of it, and then I sprayed it with a watered down milk solution on a sunny day. Apparently milk can act as a fungicide when hit with sunlight. It's doing much better now, though I may have let it go a little too long without water as some of its leaves got a little crispy. I cleaned it up and gave it a good soak before I took that last photo. (If you click the picture and make it big, you can check out a lady's super long colorful hair.)

A couple months ago I brought garbage down to the dumpster to discover someone had left a whole bunch of  used plant pots and planters there, mostly terra cotta. Jordan accompanied me and we picked out a few.

Free pots!

About six weeks ago I decided to add another little something to our balcony. Our onions got a little old and one of them had a nice healthy sprout, so I did a little Googling to find out if it was possible to plant it. According to what I found, it's possible to replant and eat the same onion. I followed the instructions and stripped off the onion layers until I was left with just the stem and roots, and planted it in one of the nicer pots we found. 

I don't know if I'll actually get an onion, but it's doing well and growing like crazy! There appear to be two stalks. Does that mean I could get a double onion? I know so little about this, but I'm learning!

A couple weeks after I planted that one I had another onion sprout, but rather than plant it right away I stripped it down and set its roots in water. I changed the water daily for almost a week because I didn't make time to plant it. I think it got a little shocked going from water to soil, and it's not doing so well.

After taking this photo I moved the plant off the grill, just in case the sun has been heating up the metal too much. I don't want to cook the onion until after harvest! Maybe if I keep watering it it'll perk back up.

I can't wait to do more gardening in the future. The best way to learn something is to do it!

Moving

Thanks to the support of some of you wonderful people, even if I don't make my Indiegogo goal I should have enough (even after 9% is taken) from the campaign to move back to MN this summer. I might have to crash on my parent's couch for a while, but if that's what has to happen, we'll make it work.

At least I'll be home!

That said, I'm still working to promote the campaign in hopes of reaching the goal. If you receive my home town's local newspaper you'll see an ad in the next one with a link to the Indiegogo page. I'm hoping to generate a little local interest from people who might know me and my folks but are not following me online.

I don't have a moving date set yet, but I'm planning for June to give me enough time to get done what needs to be done. I want to at least make sure all fursuit work is complete so I don't have to haul unfinished costumes and fur back north with me, so they're my first priority.

The Minnesota move will be accompanied by another move of a different sort. When I'm "back in the northwoods" this blog will come to an end. Why? I'm moving to Wordpress and building a website.

After literally years of saying I would, I'm finally building a professional presence on the web. I've seen just how important it is to have a website if you want to make any kind of income online and build a brand for yourself, and I'm excited to start building it. I've already purchased my domain, but I'm holding off on going public with it until the site is more than a skeleton. Exiting stuff though!

I spoke with my mom the other day and she's doing alright. She's been sick from the chemo and has lost her hair, but she apparently has a few fabulous wigs to wear that she was able to pick out for free. My dad almost thought there was a strange woman in the house when he saw her wearing one when he got home from work haha. She's got a fighting spirit, and hopefully this summer she won't need to continue the chemo and she can do radiation instead. That still means a lot of trips to Duluth, which means four hours of driving there and back. 

I'm really hoping I'll be able to afford a used car in order to help with that. The car I was driving in MN was my dad's old, rusty Oldsmobile. It likely can't handle many more Duluth trips. With the rusted out bottom I'm afraid to drive it long distances. If my Indiegogo hits its goal I should be able to afford a down payment on a decent used vehicle, but I know the costs don't end there. Insurance and gas add up quick, so I'll be taking a second job in addition to my work-from-home writing once I'm back in MN.

Big moves, big changes. They're coming. I'm ready. You can help.

Snakes are my livestock

I was cleaning boa constrictor bins today and I started thinking about homesteading (I do that often), and I realized that these snakes are my first livestock. I may not be raising them for food, but I am going through all the other motions. I feed them, clean them, give them water, mist them to keep their humidity up, take them out for exercise, treat them when they're sick, strategically breed them, and sell their offspring. 

I have purposely put male animals with female animals and brought new life into the world. I didn't realize it until now, but breeding boas has been an odd sort of introduction to the lifestyle I most want to live. Someday alongside boas I'll be breeding chickens, goats, rabbits, and possibly pigs and reindeer. 

Snakes aren't most people's first pick for pets or as animal breeding projects, but that's partly why I was drawn to them. I have a passion for misunderstood creatures and I celebrate their place in the world. Snakes have had a bad rap for far too long, and so have rats, spiders, insects, bats, and to a lesser extent wolves and skunks. All of these creatures are beautiful. If people could get past their irrational fears and learn a little bit about the animals that scare them, they probably won't be so scary. If you let your fear turn to hate, that's unfortunate because you're missing out on a fascinating part of our world. Sorry for the mini-rant, but I'm passionate about the topic. 

Admit it, he's cute.

Ever since I learned what a snake was I enjoyed looking for them and attempting to catch them. I brought a garter snake to show and tell at school in an ice cream bucket with holes poked in the top when I was in 2nd grade. When I got my corn snake Nathara in college (November 2004) I was smitten.

I still have her. :)

Nathara was a great introduction to keeping snakes and provided me with some great lessons, such as the fact that baby snakes can disappear in an instant. I lost her in my dad's Suburban after she sneaked (snaked? haha) out of my sleeve on the way home from college, and she was found in a rolled up poster tube three days later. Or rather, our dog Rosie found her on the grass after she fell out of said rolled up poster. She was cold but otherwise fine!

Boas are my true snake love though. They have personality and style, and while some subspecies and localities can grow to 10+ feet, they're not unmanageable and tend to tame easily. Mine are considered dwarf localities originating from Southern Mexico and Central America and they tend to be darker and not get as big. I love all the different color and pattern morphs there are, with many more yet to be discovered. The idea that a new, never before seen morph could come out of a boa litter is very exciting, but baby boa day is exciting no matter what.

You may notice I said litter and not clutch. Boas give live birth, which is another plus in my opinion. If I bred corn snakes like Nathara I would need to get an incubator, but mama boa grows her babies while coiled up by the heat source in her enclosure for four months. It just seemed easier.

I'm not breeding anything this year, even though my male boas really want to and I feel bad denying them. I don't want to ship pregnant snakes and have to worry about babies this summer when I have moving to think about. My finances are still rocky so I'm working on downsizing what I can before I head north.

If anyone is interested in a boa as a pet, I have care sheet information available as well as baby snakes for sale. I can ship to any of the lower 48 states as soon as weather allows! Feel free to toss me an email - aurorawolf@gmail.com. They start at $100 (includes the $50 shipping fee).

Snakes are wonderful, misunderstood creatures and I will do what I can to spread their beautiful message.

Tiamat

Dreaming

Jordan and I are sitting on the back porch, sipping home-brewed apple cider and looking out at our property - a modest homestead on eight acres next to a forest. A few chickens walk about the grass, picking at bugs and other tasty things they find. They're entertaining to watch - "Farm TV" they call it. I don't even miss cable. The sun is going down and they'll be in their coop for the evening soon. I'll need to latch the door to keep any weasels or foxes from stealing our food.

I finish my cider and tell Jordan I'm going to do the last round of chores before the sun goes down. I get up and my dog, a beautiful Llewellin setter, also gets up and accompanies me on my rounds as he always does. I head over to the shed to get food and water for the rabbits. We have several meat rabbits and a couple pets. I check and refill their food and water as necessary, and give them a few handfuls of dandelion greens. On the backside of the shed are two honeybee hives, and I take a moment to watch a few bees come in from the fields, legs full of pollen. 

I make my way over to our small barn and the goats greet me loudly in their run, ready for supper. I feed them and give them fresh water, and add some more hay to their bedding area. It's going to be chilly tonight - even summer nights in northern Minnesota get cold. 

On the other side of the barn is Officer Bacon, our big female breeder pig and her young ones. I fed them earlier when I brought out the day's kitchen scraps, so I just lay down some fresh hay and give the big girl a pat on the head. She's been an amazing mama, and while her young will be raised for food and sold, she'll always have a place here. 

I close up the barn and meander past the edge of the meadow toward the chicken coop. Wait, is there something out there? Someday soon there will be reindeer on this hill, but in the fading light I can make out the shape of a whitetail doe and her fawn. They're a beautiful sight, but I can't help but think of hunting this winter. We still have a few steaks in our freezer from Jordan's 8 point buck last year.

I check the chickens in their coop and everyone seems to be settled. They have plenty of water and food, so I latch their door and bid them good night.

Walking back to the house I pass the garden. Everything is doing well, though I make a mental note that I need to pick some strawberries in the morning for breakfast. Soon I'll have enough to sell at the farmer's market, but not yet. I pick one and eat it, enamored by the sweet, fresh from the earth flavor. 

Walking back up the steps I can hear Jordan inside playing a video game, but otherwise the farm is quiet. I call the dog, distracted by an interesting smell next to the deck, and he bounds up the stairs and comes inside with me. It's time to get some art done.