Hiatus!

Hey folks!

I'm disappearing while I make this mini move happen. Lots to pack, lots to do. My big Sequoia and King's Canyon post will have to wait until I have time to do it justice. The next update will hail from Minnesota. Thanks for your support!

Back to the north woods!

The Adventure Continues!

So much is happening right now that it's difficult to keep everything straight. My world is a blur, emotions are running high, and I have no idea what the future is going to bring (and that's scary). I'm reminding myself to take things one day at a time, one thing at a time, and everything will get taken care of. Big things are happening, both good and bad!

First, the good.

Last weekend Jordan and I camped high up in the Sierra mountains in King's Canyon National Park, where he proposed!

I said yes!

Our hands are resting on the soft bark of a giant sequoia tree in one of the most beautiful places we've ever been to. I'm working on a big blog post detailing the trip and should have that up this weekend, but my first priority is getting my last week of writing work complete. Then I have a lot of packing to do. I will be shipping my snakes on Monday and flying back to Grand Marais on Tuesday! So much to do!

Now, the bad.

Last week Jordan was laid off from work. Today he found out exactly what our options are concerning our apartment. It would cost roughly $5,000 to break the lease right now, even though his unemployment alone isn't enough to live on until February when our lease is up (our original moving date). Thanks to a severance and my own savings we're okay right now, but it's going to get difficult quickly. We're trying to find someone to sublease, but the rent is high and the apartment isn't in the greatest shape. The complex would likely replace the carpet, repaint the walls and shower, and replace the toilet before renting it. We're not counting on this option, which means Jordan will likely have to stay in CA until February.

The other options suck, though. Jordan could get a full time job and quit in 6 months to move to MN (which is both rude to the company and looks horrible on a resume), or he could get a part time job that has 75% of the wages removed as part of the unemployment terms. The situation sucks all around and we're not quite sure what direction to turn from here.

I know we can get through this, and we'll be stronger for it when we look back on it later.

Still, this move is proving to be more difficult in ways I never saw coming. That's life, eh?

One Creative Thing at a Time

When I first attempted to do art as primary income, I failed. The second time I attempted to do art as primary income, I failed. Third time's a charm, right? It will be a while before I attempt again.

It took failing twice to show me how much I need to learn about the wide world of business. I basically tried to start a business without any business background or knowledge whatsoever. I was doomed to failure before I picked up my pencil and sketched my first commission.

I have a sizable backlog of owed artwork to complete, both from the Indiegogo campaign and previous work I've taken on since living in California (and promised gifts from long ago...). The art I owe ranges from simple digital sketches to complex real media paintings, as well as a couple animal costumes. I cannot take on new art commissions until I no longer have any art in my queue. I'm changing my focus and I have a ton of great personal projects I hope to pursue, but that can't happen until everything owed has been delivered.

I'm slowly learning how to run and manage a business, and I have my writing job to thank for that. Many of the blogs I write for are directed toward business professionals and I come across a lot of tips about marketing, selling, and building a brand. I've also been observing successful entrepreneurs doing the things I'd like to be doing someday, and figuring out what they've been doing that I haven't. It's been an eye-opening experience and I've learned a lot, and I'm sure I still have much to learn.

I've realized that my biggest downfall has been my tendency to take on too much and involve myself in multiple creative projects at the same time without a clear plan. The only way I can get through my backlog and continue doing art in the future is if I tackle one type of creative endeavor at a time, from start to finish, before moving on to the next. This has never been more clear to me.

Unfortunately, writing is a particular "creative project" and I've found that since I started this wonderful job that pays my bills, my ability to do art of any kind has nearly vanished. It's incredibly frustrating. I have mixed feelings about leaving this writing job in California when I move at the end of the month, but I'm looking forward to having a "normal" job that I actually leave the house for. It will help to have a set beginning and end to my work day, which is something I struggle to make for myself.

I was planning on having my entire art backlog (minus Indiegogo stuff) finished before moving, but it simply hasn't been possible. I haven't finished a drawing since January. I need a solid plan. I have to pick a creative focus and complete everything in that focus before moving to the next. I know this is the key to speeding up my progress.

Rather than continue beating my head against the wall over the next two weeks wondering why I can't get art done, I'm putting it on hold. Right now I need to focus on getting my writing done for work, getting my book started, and selling things before the move. These things must be done, and I thank my patrons for their continued patience.

After the move I will prioritize costumes, then old commissions, then Indiegogo work. One thing at a time. It will all be done in time.

Do it Now vs. Do it Later

I'm a big time procrastinator, and I have been all my life. Changing a habit that has been with you since you learned how to make habits is incredibly difficult, but I'm making progress.

I'm a procrastinator because I know I can get away with it. I've done it a million times before. I know myself and my capabilities well, and if I do happen to leave too much to the end and I don't succeed, I'm exceptionally good at taking the hit, moving on, and not learning a damn thing.

I realized early on that there's no way to change this behavior in one day or even one week. However, I know that making little changes in my routine (and thought process) can become big changes over time.

Procrastination is best friends with stress, anxiety, and ADD. They all hang out together, but I think procrastination is the leader. If I can get get that under control, the rest will become much more manageable.

Procrastinators are "do it later" people. It's laziness and irresponsibility, really; I'm not going to sugar coat it. Something needs to be done, but you ignore it because you know you can do it later, so you use your time to do something less important (usually some kind of distraction you have to justify). Eventually the original thing bothers you enough to where you can't put it off anymore, or you've pushed it as far as you can to your deadline. Then you do everything really quick and feel fatigued and not particularly accomplished because you now have more work ahead of you.

I do this all the time, with everything. The biggest problem with this is that the time spent between deciding to do it later and actually doing it sorta gets wasted. If I happen to choose that as leisure time, I can't really relax because I know I have other things I should be doing. Relaxing never actually happens. All those things I add to my "do it later" list pile up, and then I feel overwhelmed and anxious and unsure if I can get everything done. On top of that, I have trouble sorting my priorities. Often what gets put off are the things that should be done first.

Life skills, man. I'm always late to the party. 

I've started making some little changes that are beginning to add up, and I can already see how they're affecting both my mental state and productivity in a positive way. I figured I'd share them here since they've been helpful, and maybe they can help someone else too. 

1. I started making the bed every day. Doing this simple task does so much. Also my definition of "make" is loose - our bed is against a wall and we don't really use a comforter, so basically I just fix the sheet so it looks nice. Still, it has a huge effect on how I feel and I'm more productive when I do it early in the day.

2. I organized my stuff. I don't like clutter, and when my space is cluttered I have more trouble focusing and I'm distracted easily. I live life by "everything has a place, and everything in its place" when possible. Over the course of a few days, I cleaned and organized my art stuff, jewelry, and desk area and it has helped SO MUCH. 

3. I just flat out decided to stop being a "do it later" person. If I notice something needs to be done, I don't make a mental note about it and file it away (and forget it) like I used to. I just do it. That goes for dishes, general apartment upkeep, replacing paper towel and toilet paper, etc. I figure they can't make my to-do list larger if they never get added to it in the first place!

I'm still working on applying #3 to catching up on my writing, but I've made more progress in the last week than I have in a month. I need a clean slate - it's time to focus!

Life Happened + I'm Moving to MN!

It has been a month and a half since I last wrote. Oops! Sorry about the unexpected hiatus. I even said on my last post I was going to write more here. Then life happened. You all deserve to know what I've been up to, so this is a journal update highlighting what's been going on.

I'll start with the big news - I'm officially moving back to Minnesota at the end of the month (June 30th), and thanks to my wonderful cousin I have both a job and a place to live waiting for me on my return!

Home!

I'll be moving into the small rental house she's been living in (yay tiny house living!), which as it turns out is owned by other distant relatives of mine! I'll also be taking over her job at a realty office that sounds like something I'd be good at. On top of all that, she offered me art studio space at her house in exchange for helping out with animal chores. I'm so excited to finally get some hands-on homesteading experience! I'm looking forward to these big changes. The next chapter in my life is opening up!

I was able to purchase a plane ticket using money raised from the Indiegogo, and the rest will go toward my first month's rent and shipping and travel expenses. I will be sending an email to my Indiegogo contributors with updates soon too, including a link to this blog post.

My mom has been struggling with illness and fever, but hanging in there. She's looking forward to being done with chemo soon. Then she gets a break before radiation begins. She's one tough cookie! I'm eager to spend time with her and my dad (and my other friends and family) back home soon.

Of course I have a lot of mixed feelings about the move. It's going to be difficult leaving Jordan here while I go back to the place we both want to be, but it's more than that. I've grown really comfortable here. It has been hard to get by sometimes, but we've been making it work and enjoying some good times too. I'm really appreciating what's here now that I'm leaving it behind.

It is a nice area, really.

Jordan and I had an unexpected house guest for a week at the end of May. An old friend of Jordan's was down on his luck, and we let him take over our living room for a week while he looked for a room to rent. It was tough just because our place is small and I didn't like the lack of privacy (and I'm a private, anxious person to begin with), but I'm glad things worked out.

Also I'm sad to say our oldest rat Raven had to be put to sleep. Her brain tumor progressed to the point where she was unable to eat or drink. We euthanized her here at home where she passed peacefully.

RIP Raven, you were a sweet rat

Just like her sister Sassy before her, we entombed her in a pot below an herb plant. This time we chose mint. I'll have photos in a garden update soon!

I'm still not to the point where I feel comfortable with my money situation, so I'm working hard this month to sell some things. I really need to downsize the number of snakes I'm bringing home so I've been busy tending ads and taking pictures. I'm working on selling a variety of other things as well, including books and old artwork. 

I've been really busy with my writing job, which will sadly come to an end before I move. I love it, but it's for the best. I've been behind on the work for a long time and I've found it's nearly impossible to catch up, but I have to. I'm looking forward to going back to a job that has set hours and a schedule to stick to, and also doesn't rely on me to handle the tax stuff because ugh, what a pain. It is definitely not easy to be self-employed, and I don't think that's best for me right now. Not until I get my shit together. :)

I've also been getting a lot of general apartment organization and upkeep stuff done and making packing a priority, and Jordan has been helping cook and clean which is always wonderful. I've said it before, but we really do make an amazing team.

I'm really looking forward to the weekend of June 19th, as that's when Jordan and I are heading to Sequoia and King's Canyon National Park to camp. It's an amazing place and I've been excited to go back for years! Those big trees call to me. 

I know I said it in my last blog post, but I am definitely going to be updating here more often. Perhaps sometimes even daily. I'm starting to work more on my book, and there are some things I want to blog about before I move that will probably make their way into the pages.

This is going to be the busiest month ever. I'm not ready, but it's happening!